Christian Bookshops Make Me Feel Guilty

I love the junk mail I get from our local Christian bookshop. I read it and think about it and often 'feel' that there is something there that could really help me in my Christian walk/life/relationships/wardrobe etc.


I then go to the store. I find the book I am after and then discover twenty others along the same line of thought and then get completely swamped by indecision. Should I be looking at one written by a man or a woman? Should I go for one that has a bit of a family focus? Am I bad mother if I completely bypass all the parenting books?  I then carry around with me three or four painfully selected titles, with which I pace the store hoping that I have made the right choice. Will I read them? Will they challenge my faith? Do these particular books encapsulate where I am in my walk? Sigh.


At some point during the visit, I do a 360 degree turn and see row after row, shelf after shelf of books on topics from finding God's will to sex.  And then my brain begins to do some weird chemically thing and it just stops and freezes - I see solid blocks of primary colours with an over dub of elevator music.


There is so much I don't know, about everything, and this store emphasises this like no other. I thought I knew a lot about prayer, but there is a whole aisle on this topic. I thought I knew my bible stories quite well, but there are walls and walls of bible stories. I thought I knew how to be married, but there are entire sections dedicated to this. The other people in the store seem to move with confidence, they know what kind of music they like, they choose just the right bible guide and they choose cards and gifts with barely a nervous tick.


But not me, more often than not, I retrace my steps, put all the books back and slink out to my car. I don't so much like the store afterall.  I have been pondering this, as I tend to over ponder everything.


I don't like the idea of marginalising people. Would someone with a different 'faith status' than me feel comfortable walking into this bookstore? What makes these books so special? Are the writers people who don't sin and who go to church every Sunday? Maybe it is just me, but I like to think that God doesn't just reside between Dobson and Yancey.  I like to think he can be found anywhere.


In fact, one of the most spiritually profound books I have read in the last year was 'Eat Pray Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert. The book follows a girl around my age,  who discovers she no longer wants to be married so leaves her husband and takes a year to find herself. So she lives in Italy for a while where she EATS. Then she moves on to India where she lives in an Ashram and she PRAYS. She then moves on to Bali where she finds a lovely man and learns about LOVE. I loved the texture and grit with which this woman writes and the way that she approached her discovery. I learnt a lot about prayer and meditation, something that I never really 'got' from Christian books.


I also love the Harry Potter Books and the CS Lewis tales and The Lord of the Rings series. I will write more on these another time, but what I am saying is, that God is everywhere in everything. He can be found in the pages of any book, movie or song. The human heart is wired to love stories of good versus evil and being rescued by a good King/Prince/hunk.


There are people out there searching for this kind of story all the time. They go to movies, they read books, they listen to music - searching for something that resonates with the niggle that lies inside them. I say this like I am some kind of expert - well I am! I have known God my whole life, but still I didn't realise that he is everywhere and in everything and can be found in a flower, a song or words on a page - if we are brave enough to look.


Others with the same niggle may not have found God like I did. So they are out there still searching, looking, wanting the happy ending, the rescue, the hunk who sweeps in on his white horse, or the fair maiden to choose him for his heart not his brawn. But these people may not go to a church or associate themselves with a religion - so how do they then find their happy ending? 


I then fast forward to wondering how these people would feel walking into my local Christian bookstore?  Would they have a reason to go there? Do they know it exists? Would they too find the choice of books on every topic imaginable suffocating? Would someone approach them and help them find just the right book to scratch that internal niggle?


Again I fast forward to wondering how these people would feel walking into my church? What would they think of all the rows and rows of well groomed Christians in their Sunday best singing together, looking at a big screen and having 'communion' together?  Yipes, just the thought of it makes me panic.  If our church is not inviting for these seekers, where do they go to find God?


My answer. In us. Not in a bookstore. Not in a church. They find God through a cup of tea. A piece of cake. A friendly smile. A shared joke. A meal. A relationship. A pain eased. A hug given. A hand held. A child minded.


God is everywhere and in everything - from books to our hearts. We need to be out in the world being billboards of love to those we have around us. Simple. No panic attacks, steps to take, books to buy, or things to listen to. We just need to be available and willing. Simple right?